| ==KoKo== 的个人资料♬♪ KoKo ♬♪ Dancing Qu...照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
What I 've Doneit has been a while since I updated this space, Honestly, I have almost forgotten this space as a whole...people who want to know more about my current life and thoughts, please go to this space :
Current Space Address:
 Somewhere I belongOT again...changed my MSN name into OT --> Obviously Talent?....lol. when I was trying to persuade myself that what I m doing right now will benefit my whole entire life. It didn’t really blow my confidence but only more pressures! The probation period has gone finally in this month. I kindly reviewed the binders I stored besides my desk. Counting…25 in total! Tears coming down from my eyes, not because of the sorrow deep in my heart, but truly due to the pain. My eyes are so hurt after staring at the screen for over 12 hours everyday. Today, I am not free to chat everyone, I rejected every single dating proposal even tough the counter-party is such an attractive wonderful guy. I go outside with my fellows during weekend, no where else but only to the club. Dancing becomes even more important for me nowadays. Late night, we can scream to death, we can dress up sexy, after all, we can get ourselves wet in the darkness. Dancing…release all of the pressure steam cumulated in my brain. I would have blow out, if I didn’t have the chance to let them out..
People come into my life and then vanish in the blurring frog daily. I have kind of getting used to this dramatic alternation even though I should not have been doing so. Relationship is the untouchable critical hit issue considered so seriously by gals like us. My super baby dandan is so down today just because of some stupid ASS who wants more physical benefit from her rather than contributing any true love for her. I was so pissed off by this block. On another point, all men should be the same. Even back on me, how many men have been truly loving me without lying to me. Maybe I shouldn’t even complain. I lie as well! Lie …. Lol….must be the most incredible feature of love.
This Sunday, I gonna fly to Qingdao for DD report of a merge project again. I was talking about going for business trip out of Beijing for a while, however, it didn’t really come into the reality due to too many unanticipated hindrances. But now, this Sunday, I might have the chance to escape from the mess. Beijing is still frizzing, I guess qingdao wouldn’t be better. However, for me, another complete strange place could be the sunshine beach for me. Piece of cake…getting use to OT all the time beyond 9pm. The life continues ilke this, and me as well. One day, I am afraid when I turn around and take a glance, I might regret how many sightseeing I missed on the way to work, how many precious potential relationship I have given away even though I really did have a chance to contribute. Promptly, I have contributed myself into my work. And what did I get for return? Maybe nothing… and maybe that is the reason why I kept wondering around, and feel really lost… tomorrow, when I wake up again. Who will be the one make up the bed, cook the breakfast, and kiss me goodbye for work. Somehow, I start feeling like marrying…but…the stupid point is…who will be the one for me…Bitch never deserve a good man. I confess…. Chinese New YearI spent my Chinese New Year Eve on the aircraft, by watching those fireworks shinging in the sky. The whole city was covered by the flashy fireworks exploding in the sky..It was so beautiful, beautiful enough to make me burst to tears. The day I arrived at home, is the day I finished my Dog year finally. Bad Luck gone? I wish so...Many days I have been waiting for the fascinating chinese new year to spend the holiday with my parents without any work load stress on my mind.
 I left Beijing, I came back and I saw my sisters, my ex-bf, my best friend, and rui rui. I feel quite different this time, It has changed, I mean maybe I have changed. I feel lazy to entertain people around who I care about all the time, I feel lazy to smile to others even though I should have done. I feel lazy to go out with friends no matter how attractive the event gonna be. I feel so down even though everything seems go on smoothly at the end of my DOG year.
It gonna be different this year, is it? Him went to Japan with his parents again. suddently, he stops calling me for several days. It feels wired anyway. Even though we had broken up with each other ages ago. He kept calling me almost everyday, no matter where he is, even after he went back to HK. I feel almost the same, as we are still stick together. Valentine's day, I got his roses. It was the first time he bought me roses on the valentine's day. lol...even after we broke up. It feels very warm and sweet. I received several bunches of roses on the valentine's day, and even the chocolate. lol. Things are strange, I still feel like I did get nothing at all.
Maybe the inside loneliness is making myself confused all the time. I feel like I need someone, however, I really don't know who I should have run to at the end. Maybe I still enjoy the single status, or maybe I never really loved this status. I want to be protected, and the fear of being alone is so enomrous to bear with. I am getting really tired now. By getting home alone, facing to the wall by myself, listening to the sorrow music, watching the drama without sharing any affection, hehe.....Damn, I am promoting independence all the time, and I feel like now I am betraying myself in principle cause I never be able to manage being alone by myself.
Ok, I am heading back to Beijing tomorrow by myself again. After a long or kinda long vacation back home, I need to go back to my work again......Right, things have to continue, and my love as well...Who gonna be the MR. RIGHT for me. where did I go right? What I have done is wrong? ...I am waiting for the answer ...Who will tell me....
 Anti Valentine's day
The excess baggage that is attached with Love.
How many times have you wanted to hang out with your friend only to find out that they HAVE to spend time with their lover? What you can do on Valentines. |
♬♪ KoKo ♬♪ Dancing Queen ♬♪☜ ForEvEr J_Q ☞ |
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