OT again...changed my MSN name into OT --> Obviously Talent?....lol. when I was trying to persuade myself that what I m doing right now will benefit my whole entire life. It didn’t really blow my confidence but only more pressures!

The probation period has gone finally in this month. I kindly reviewed the binders I stored besides my desk. Counting…25 in total! Tears coming down from my eyes, not because of the sorrow deep in my heart, but truly due to the pain. My eyes are so hurt after staring at the screen for over 12 hours everyday. Today, I am not free to chat everyone, I rejected every single dating proposal even tough the counter-party is such an attractive wonderful guy. I go outside with my fellows during weekend, no where else but only to the club. Dancing becomes even more important for me nowadays. Late night, we can scream to death, we can dress up sexy, after all, we can get ourselves wet in the darkness. Dancing…release all of the pressure steam cumulated in my brain. I would have blow out, if I didn’t have the chance to let them out..                                                                    

  People come into my life and then vanish in the blurring frog daily. I have kind of getting used to this dramatic alternation even though I should not have been doing so. Relationship is the untouchable critical hit issue considered so seriously by gals like us. My super baby dandan is so down today just because of some stupid ASS who wants more physical benefit from her rather than contributing any true love for her. I was so pissed off by this block. On another point, all men should be the same. Even back on me, how many men have been truly loving me without lying to me. Maybe I shouldn’t even complain. I lie as well! Lie …. Lol….must be the most incredible feature of love.

This Sunday, I gonna fly to Qingdao for DD report of a merge project again. I was talking about going for business trip out of Beijing for a while, however, it didn’t really come into the reality due to too many unanticipated hindrances. But now, this Sunday, I might have the chance to escape from the mess. Beijing is still frizzing, I guess qingdao wouldn’t be better. However, for me, another complete strange place could be the sunshine beach for me.

Piece of cake…getting use to OT all the time beyond 9pm. The life continues ilke this, and me as well. One day, I am afraid when I turn around and take a glance, I might regret how many sightseeing I missed on the way to work, how many precious potential relationship I have given away even though I really did have a chance to contribute. Promptly, I have contributed myself into my work. And what did I get for return? Maybe nothing… and maybe that is the reason why I kept wondering around, and feel really lost… tomorrow, when I wake up again. Who will be the one make up the bed, cook the breakfast, and kiss me goodbye for work. Somehow, I start feeling like marrying…but…the stupid point is…who will be the one for me…Bitch never deserve a good man. I confess….